Go for your goals and gain confidence

Reaching for goals is an important part of strengthening self-confidence. It helps shape and update how you define yourself while at the same time helping you add to your sense of accomplishment. Here are some key tips to remember.

• It's important to break down an overall goal into smaller, measureable steps. To be clear on how to reach your goal, it helps to write down each step.
• Once you have defined the steps, schedule each step into your planner so you know when you're going to make it happen. Saying you will do is not enough. Putting it on your calendar means you intend to it and it is more likely you will.
• You can gain confidence simply by taking action towards your goal even if you don't get the result you were looking for. Keep in mind that success is in the doing and not necessarily the result.
• Give yourself credit for taking action even if you need to ask for help or it is a struggle.
• Take the credit you deserve. Don't diminish your accomplishment by looking at all you haven't done or all that is left to do.
• Continuing to add goals, regardless of how small or large, provides you the opportunity to update the way you see yourself and grow confidence.

Originally published on June 29, 2011 by Marci G. Fox, Ph.D. in Think Confident, Be Confident for Psychology Today blog

Think Before You React

 

With so many ways to have instant access to another person, it’s so important for each of us to think before we immediately react by thinking through the various possible intended and unintended consequences of your actions. Your thinking impacts your anger, upset, or fear and colors how you see your situation. Take your own emotional temperature and if it’s high give yourself a timed “time out” to calm down the intensity of whatever you are feeling. That will give you the time you need to chill so that you can then think about your thoughts. Sometimes you realize that you were thinking about the situation incorrectly or may have overreacted all together. Other times you realize that your thinking was right on track but that you may need to figure out your next steps. If you didn’t hit the send button on your phone or computer, or already called or shown up then you still have time to logically think through what you need to do to be effective in the situation. Have the confidence to be your own resource. Here’s some questions you may want to keep handy. Ask yourself what options you have and image each one through. Ask yourself what you would tell a friend in the same situation. Ask yourself if you would mind if what you said or sent was forwarded to lots of people you know. Ask yourself how you would feel if you bumped into or had to interact with this person again after you followed your plan. The key is to be effective and not reactive.

Fox, M.G. (2011, June). Think before you react. Retrieved from http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/think-confident-be-confident/201106/think-you-react

Update your Confidence

It's important to keep updating the way you see yourself to continue to build and grow your confidence. Much of the time we discount our strengths, compliments we receive, new roles, and growth in different areas. The impact of that is doubt. Doubt can be overcome by focusing on the positives and not giving exaggerated meaning to difficulties that we each face on a daily basis.